Happy (Arranged) Marriage!

Today I have received news that my thirty-something cousin over in India has become engaged to a girl who he met 30 minutes beforehand. It made me wander why this would be a preposterous situation for myself to be in… the mere fact that I am geographically in another land has meant that my whole approach to the arranged marriage situation differs from that of my cousin. Had my grandfather not travelled to the UK in the 1950’s and had my father not travelled to the UK years later to marry my mother I would not be here. It could have been me getting engaged today had I been living in my paternal home in the Punjab.

Word out in the neighbourhood that a young lad who is "so and so's" son is eligible for marriage. A local father with daughters to discharge visits my family home, greets my father, meets me and assesses my character within fifteen minutes, decides that his daughter should spend the rest of her life with me and goes on his way to make ‘further arrangements’. 2 hours later, I am donning my best suit tailored by the local master in the bazaar, tying my best turban and stepping into my Maruti to travel to the local hotel where marriage engagements are initiated. Along with my father and five other family members we are greeted by the girl’s father, five of his closest relatives and the girl herself. We exchange glances, loosely exchange words and give the nod to proceed. Within minutes we are fixed up and engaged to be married….

I am British. My heritage is Indian, Asian or whatever else can describe me. My father has learned to temper his Indian attitude and he would never impose a marriage upon me in the way that his brother has to my cousin. I presume my cousin was happy to receive news of his impending marriage from his father since he was adamant to get married when we last spoke – ‘Find me a girl yaar’. Find your bloody own… even after a long relationship, I remain unsure about my willingness to marry. Its amazing how being 4550 miles from the Punjab makes me who I am. I really am a product of my environment…

Now nuff of them are sweet and some are ugly
And some of them a marga mean she patli
And some are mampee that a moti kuri
And some too english talk no punjabi
Say the gal me like have the right figure
In she eyes have the soorma
Wear the chuni kurtha pyjama
And talk the Indian with the Patwa!

Now me done get marry say me start to worry
Me have to tell you something mon would you help me
About me arrange marriage me have a problem
When is the right time to tell me gal friend!
Becaz the time has come mon fe apache
To find one gal and to get marry
But listen ragamuffin tell everybody
Me want me arrange marriage from me mum and daddy!
Arranged Marriage – Apache Indian