A societal weather report: Expect this dark cloud to reign perpetually. A shadow is CASTE over our societies…

Meet Adam, a 27 year old City worker. Enjoys fine wine, rugby and yachting. Loves travelling, the arts and classical music. Seeks independent lady who is spiritual, assertive and confident. Age is no barrier. Ps – He’s a Jatt and you must be too.

I just don’t get it. It’s the year 2009 and still people ask me when I am going to be married – to a girl within my caste. Who gives a shit about caste? Surely I should be marrying the person that I want to share the rest of my life with, who I will love and protect, till death us do part? Using caste as positive criteria when searching for a wife hardly fits in with my list of required attributes…

1. A Human Being and female (in that order).
2. Minimum education: a UK degree. Preferably educated to Doctor level or equivalent.
3. Sincere, sensitive, passionate, inspirational, articulate, non-argumentative, confident and as sexy as Angelina Jolie.
4. Secondary criteria: Can make the curries, is thrifty but creative or creatively thrifty, makes nice Punjabi tea, will be a maid to my parents and will iron my cotton shirts!

You may think the above is slightly crass but marriage bureaus of the Asian variety openly advertise in this way all the time… take a finely selected sample from Shaadi.com below. A friend recently told me how she found her husband on shaadi.com. I was surprised but intrigued so I had a look for myself. It is safe to say that within Asian communities, the caste system is inextricably linked to marriage.

So in the search columns of shaadi.com, I excitedly look for a bride, aged 20-25. Religion? Mother tongue? Who cares, I leave the boxes open.

Desperado (identity disguised) but I’m sure ‘Cutey Pie’ wasn’t her real name either. She is 25, a Sikh Jatt, Liberal, occasional drinker and confident, ambitious and open minded. Sounds nice doesn’t she?

Or how about the Sunni Muslim accountant, earning 40-50k from Hounslow. Has a wheatish complexion and loves bollywood? Not bad either.

Or the Hindu Brahmin solicitor from Birmingham, 26 with a GSOH, (very pretty may I add – I might even express my interest), passionate, intelligent music lover looking for Mr Right.

For me the most sinister characteristics of these adverts are the references to caste. Marriage adverts like those above seek to re-enforce the caste system which maintains the divide between Asian communities and only strengthens tension and separatist attitudes within communities and we openly allow it.

Within the Asian communities, ‘casteism’ is a big issue that potentially falls under the toxic umbrella of racism or ‘religiously sanctified racism*’. In Sikhism for example, Punjabis are known for their views on castes with much hatred and tension caused because of a hierarchical system that was banned by the Sikh Gurus. Historically, Sikhism abolishes the caste system – all are equal. In a Gurdwara, men and women all sit on one level regardless of caste – Only the Guru Granth Sahib sits on a raised platform. But when we step out of the doors of our religious establishments, a dark black cloud called caste discrimination hangs over our society.

I can only talk about my own experience as a Sikh in reference to caste. I could also bore you with the history of caste and how India maintains a heavy caste laden society. But I won’t. What’s the point? I’m a British Sikh and I hardly ever visit India now, I’m a stranger there and I miss my British luxuries whenever I’m there like the pub, the smell of the countryside, motorway service stations and the M25! In brief, social classes are defined by hereditary groups often termed as jātis or castes originating in India. Generally identified with Hinduism, other religions including Christianity, Islam and Sikhism have been associated with a caste system. Although caste barriers have diminished in recent times in India, it still plays a huge role in general society and politics.

So what do I know of caste? Well, Jatt Sikhs apparently belong among the upper echelons of Sikh society. They are landowners who cultivate their farms growing crops and living off their sales. Tharkan Sikhs are known as carpenters and Jalhai Sikhs were tailors. Chamar Sikhs, and this is where it gets ugly were known to be catchers of animals that were skinned and their furs sold (I am sure that my explanations will be questioned by those who claim to be in the know about these things but I give you my view only). It was seen as a dirty trade and for this reason, Chamars seemingly fall lower down the caste system. Chamars were considered ‘untouchable’ in the Hindu caste system. I wonder what Mr High-Caste would make of my friend Ashwin, an acclaimed Dr of Medicine, an esteemed entrepreneur and writer – and a Chamar.

There was massive uproar in my family when my cousin decided she wanted to marry not only out of caste but to a non-Indian. It was like an alien was threatening the family circle and we were being infiltrated without any control. More recently, my family members have had inter-caste marriages but not without the frowns seen on the faces of the older generation. They can’t help it, that’s all they know. The older generations uprooted to the UK from all parts of India and with them came deep rooted cultures, norms and values inherently and openly abiding by the caste system. Maybe more fittingly, the picture to the right should read: "Subject to caste, will you be my wife?"

To what extent is the caste system still governing the Asian community in the UK? Times are changing, people are changing. As the migrant generations in the UK unfortunately die out (those that first transitioned to the UK in the 1950’s and 60’s), I am certain that the caste system will diminish too. As the third, fourth and even fifth generation British Asians continually live comfortably in modern day Britain, we see an increase in mixed-race marriages, inter-caste marriages and more recently civil partnerships (but within the Asian communities who knows to what extent this happens: I open a whole new topic on the Asian gay community here so I will not digress). My point is, I hope the caste system becomes less important. No longer does it matter that person A married person B of the same caste. What does matter is that A and B lived a happy and fruitful life. I have seen no evidence (whether it be qualitative, first hand accounts or statistical and extensively search I did) to suggest that same-caste marriages have a lower divorce rate than cross-caste marriages. In fact, divorce rates within the Asian communities have risen across the board and I think mainly for the fact that the increasingly Westernised Asian community no longer have to be tied into a marital transaction for life. Gone are the days when a wife died with her husband on the pyre. Recent studies suggest that only two out of five adults in the UK will be married in 20 years’ time and by 2031, married couples will make up only 41% of the population. The Office for National Statistics also predicts the fastest growing group are the singles - more for me to choose from then (when I'm 50!).

Nowadays, Ms Independent doesn’t need a man for support and Mr Muscle (I use these names in jest) continues to search for the virgin bride who has absconded and since found her inner strength and decided to ‘date’, join Shaadi.com and attend Asian Speed Dating events in order to examine and evaluate a reliable sample of the Asian male community in hope of finding Mr Right. A sign of the times I think.

In my day to day life, I often sigh with sheer frustration when Aunty mentions that her brother’s son’s wife’s second cousin’s brother in law’s daughter may be suitable for me since she shares the same caste as me. She then mentions that she is a doctor and very homely which seemingly re-enforces her case. I often ask whether she would prefer to marry me off to the PG Tips chimp as long as she is the same caste. Surely she would be homely, and could at least make me nice Punjabi tea (and it ticks off a line on my checklist). Clearly the need for marriage bureaus like Shaadi.com advertising potential spouses on the basis of caste indicates that people still adhere to the caste system more than we care to realise or acknowledge. Shouldn’t caste be seen as another form of racial discrimination? After all, my caste has no bearing on me and the qualities I bring to my marriage, or even to wider society…

In today’s current climate, I am over caste. I want a GSOH (not referring to someone who ‘Got Syphillis on Holiday’). [Promiscuous Asians, another topic for debate methinks]. I want a romance not a Ramgharia. I want a bold and beautiful lady not a Brahmin.

It can be argued that the caste system has become diluted today. Some people don’t even know what their castes stand for but they pledge dying allegiances to them… Isn’t it a shame to identify yourself with something you have no knowledge of? Maybe GSOH should mean God Save Our Humility which seems more fitting on this occasion… The sanctity of marriage becomes tarnished by a caste system that holds no water today but continues to wreak its havoc like a silent tornado… I predict a sunny future if we banish caste back to where it came from and move on…

Do not be proud of your social class and status, you ignorant fool! So much sin and corruption comes from this pride.

Sri Guru Granth Sahib

*According to CasteWatch UK [www.castewatchuk.org]