Birth and Death - and the bit in the middle

Wake up it’s the 1st of the month!

Its been about 8 months now since Paki Tin was conceived and I began writing about things that were essentially me "thinking aloud". It has been a strange year so far and one that has probably moved faster than any other period of my life. They say things happen all at once - very true.

Paki Tin has moved leaps and bounds since then. Here are just a few of the headlines.

Endorsement by CasteWatch UK – a leading organization aiming to address caste discrimination in the UK.
An invitation and subsequent appearance to appear on a popular current affairs TV show exploring race and identity – and other projects in the pipeline.
Invitations to attend conferences and conventions addressing identity politics and discrimination in the ethnic communities.
Many artists, musicians and writers have offered their work to us and this will culminate in the ‘Who Are You? Join the Debate’ project coming soon.

Paki Tin has covered some of the following topics:

Racism, race, ethnicity, arranged marriage, religion, terrorism, identity, outward religious symbols, institutional racism, the BNP, politics, ethnic representation in the media, white flight, and the topic that has sparked the most debate: caste discrimination.

Many of the topics discussed have stemmed from supporters of the site sharing their thoughts and I thank you all for your support. I also thank those that have contributed to the site and offered advice so far. Get in touch with me at paki-tin@live.co.uk.

It’s very easy to get caught up in the hype that has come out of this site but I’m not here for that nor did I set up this site for any of the above. They are by-products of my thought processes.

So in true Paki Tin fashion, I leave you with some words that I first posted a few months ago but subsequently removed because I felt they were too personal. We all have questions about life and God… remain inquisitive and seek answers. Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. I don't have the answers, I just hope to ask the right questions.

Every generation thinks it has the answers, and every generation is humbled by nature

I would like some answers please (originally posted March 2009)

Today is a bad day. Tomorrow could be worse. I have had the wind taken from my stomach; I have had my peace of mind eroded faster in the last week than ever in my life. I have had my life put into perspective through endless iterations in the last few days. I have learned that I am hard faced, un-reactive but strong and resilient.

A person close to me was told that they had a life threatening illness. This person was lucky and I am grateful to God that this person has been given a second chance. Talking of God, I question further God’s role in all things that formulate our destiny. A person who has been devoutly religious (more so than the average person) all of their life, has never partaken in sinful activities such as drinking, smoking and meat-eating (all cardinal sins for a Sikh) still has their life threatened in the most terrifying way. Where was God’s help and leniency? Why does God allow such cruelties? And why do we blame God when such an occurrence takes place?

I have always been a person who has been ashamed to ask God for something. I’m like your proud uncle whose pride is precious and I will die for it. I do however thank God when things go right or I am grateful for what I have. I try my best to lead a life that would be worthy of an invitation to heaven. When judgement day arrives I would approach the pearly gates with trepidation, recalling my worst human acts and hoping that I was able to counter them with equally good ones and somehow the tally sheet holds enough evidence for my allowed entry like an immigrant awaiting his fate at the border of a foreign land. I’m not foreign to heaven am I? They know of me… they were expecting me… I would be afraid of being turned away or something has been overlooked and I am refused. Come to think of it, I am like this whenever I check in for a flight. I am worried that I have missed something or the airport security gives me a hard time for nothing. I am always very jittery on these occasions. When at the gates of heaven, all of my quivering and trembling is justified. This is me.

I have designed my whole life around the person who for a second I thought I was going to lose and I did not react. I couldn’t react although I had admittedly thought about this kind of morbid situation many times as a way of strengthening my own resolve and determination. When it happens for real, there is no knowing how you will react and my reaction has certainly shocked me. God certainly didn’t give me a teary disposition; I must have been at the back of the queue when he handed out his quota of tears per person. I have dissolved into a trance-like do-this-do-that android that goes about his daily life and takes each day as it comes.

I have questioned everything important in my life. The fact is that nothing is as important to me as my family. The human product I am today is inextricably linked to my upbringing, environment and the haves and haves-nots that have shaped my character and my persona. The person whose life was put in question has had the most profound impact on me that I am in awe of the strength, compassion and resilience that this person has displayed all of their life. I am angry with God for allowing this person to endure such a position… I further question whether religion really is the ‘opiate’ that nulls the pain of human kind. After all, where does worship get us? I would like some answers please…

I conclude that there is no correlation between worship and length of service (a life time). If this was the case, then why do the good die young? And why do some evil bastards drag on and kick their heels for years and years? Where’s the balance and more importantly where is the justice? I was told once that God takes people at any time when he has a need for them… I have a need for this person and so I politely ask God to leave this person alone… for me.